God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize