I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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