which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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