did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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