Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize