He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize