I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize