I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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