You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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