Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize