Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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