when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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