yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize