I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
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Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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