And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize