I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
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sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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