that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize