I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize