If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
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I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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