a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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