My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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