Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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