I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize