Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize