People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize