Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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