I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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