would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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