This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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