dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize