things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
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on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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