Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize