All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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