i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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