Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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