he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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