Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize