Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize