The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize