You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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