Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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