I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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