was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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