But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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