and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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