so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
where are my eyebrows?
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