member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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