he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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