I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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