you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize